Locate position - Set course
On board with the Bowspirit Kids, the sick and traumatised kids and their siblings shall first of all have fun and take a recreation from the illness or traumatic experience.The mental and physical strain caused by the foul that life has played out for them has not allowed many of our young guests - often over a long period of time - to enjoy the usual childhood activities: playing, swimming, climbing and a lot more. Therefore, our focus is on enjoying life, having fun and being a kid.
But by staying with us on board, we don't just want to paint over something dull grey in garish colours. After all, this would only create a distraction for a short while and would not help to relieve them permanently.
As adults, we know that it belongs to the "game of life" that everyone has to carry his or her parcel. But some parcels are so misshapen that it's good if someone shows me in good time how to carry them best, so that they don't hinder me on my further journey through life. Because a loving environment of parents, siblings, grandparents and friends, who really do everything for you, alone, is just not enough with some dramas.
Our young guests may thus playfully learn how healing it is to consider a change of perspective:
When I am no longer trapped in the drama as a victim, I may consider whether there is even a gift hidden for me in the stressful situation.
In "victim land"
Today, we usually live in a world of thought in which somebody has to take responsibility for deviations from the norm. If "something terrible" happens, we reflexively fall back on this paradigm of thinking. The fact that things may have a deeper reason, which we will only become aware of later, usually does not occur to us in our superficial, fast-moving times. Someone has to be blamed when something is wrong: society, the environment or another person whose victim we are. Or even more fatal: We ourselves, our own behaviour or our body - delinquent and victim in one person, so to speak.
Especially children think like that. According to their perception, the whole world revolves only around them. If something is wrong, they quickly believe it is their fault.
If a child thinks this for the first time, it is very painful. To ease the pain, the child suppresses it and so often cements a belief that he or she still believes in as an adult: It is my fault and something is wrong with me.
Without realising it, we have entered "victim land", just as our fellow human beings show this to us every day.
We have learned to judge, blame and accuse. We have learned to be victims.
When we begin to suppress a feeling, we know it is there, but we eat it into ourselves. Suppressed feelings are buried so deeply in our subconscious that we are no longer aware of them.
But every time in our lives the memory of this pain or the thought associated with it is triggered again - maybe even by a completely different event -, we go back to our childhood emotionally.
We feel and behave like the little child who feels this pain for the first time.
Today, we usually live in a world of thought in which somebody has to take responsibility for deviations from the norm. If "something terrible" happens, we reflexively fall back on this paradigm of thinking. The fact that things may have a deeper reason, which we will only become aware of later, usually does not occur to us in our superficial, fast-moving times. Someone has to be blamed when something is wrong: society, the environment or another person whose victim we are. Or even more fatal: We ourselves, our own behaviour or our body - delinquent and victim in one person, so to speak.
Especially children think like that. According to their perception, the whole world revolves only around them. If something is wrong, they quickly believe it is their fault.
If a child thinks this for the first time, it is very painful. To ease the pain, the child suppresses it and so often cements a belief that he or she still believes in as an adult: It is my fault and something is wrong with me.
Without realising it, we have entered "victim land", just as our fellow human beings show this to us every day.
We have learned to judge, blame and accuse. We have learned to be victims.
When we begin to suppress a feeling, we know it is there, but we eat it into ourselves. Suppressed feelings are buried so deeply in our subconscious that we are no longer aware of them.
But every time in our lives the memory of this pain or the thought associated with it is triggered again - maybe even by a completely different event -, we go back to our childhood emotionally.
We feel and behave like the little child who feels this pain for the first time.
Set course
If our potential young guests would make the choice that people normally make, they would choose to rather be the victim and blame others or even themselves. This point of view would allow them to be absolutely right, as their environment would probably strengthen their assessment of what they had experienced. But they would remain trapped in the drama all their lives.
Through the joint activities on board we want to help our young guests to escape this "trap".
To do this, it is first of all necessary that the kids become aware of their feelings about what they have experienced - their own as well as the feelings of others that have been shown or thoughtlessly babbled to them.
The alternative then is to acknowledge that something far more significant - and possibly very useful - is going on beneath the surface.
The - initially playful - openness to see the situation from a different perspective is the key to actual healing. By being open to the thought that this situation has occurred in our lives with loving intention, we give up control and the need to judge.
There is nothing to be afraid of then, because we will feel more trust, more security and more inner peace than we ever thought possible. We will be able to see how we are all carried, in every moment of every day, no matter how bad the situation seems to us.
If our young guests can allow this change of perspective, they will not only be able to better understand their current crisis, but they will also be prepared for future crises in life.
Perhaps they will even then reflexively take a brief look into "victim land" ... but their real course has already been set: Off into life!
If our potential young guests would make the choice that people normally make, they would choose to rather be the victim and blame others or even themselves. This point of view would allow them to be absolutely right, as their environment would probably strengthen their assessment of what they had experienced. But they would remain trapped in the drama all their lives.
Through the joint activities on board we want to help our young guests to escape this "trap".
To do this, it is first of all necessary that the kids become aware of their feelings about what they have experienced - their own as well as the feelings of others that have been shown or thoughtlessly babbled to them.
The alternative then is to acknowledge that something far more significant - and possibly very useful - is going on beneath the surface.
The - initially playful - openness to see the situation from a different perspective is the key to actual healing. By being open to the thought that this situation has occurred in our lives with loving intention, we give up control and the need to judge.
There is nothing to be afraid of then, because we will feel more trust, more security and more inner peace than we ever thought possible. We will be able to see how we are all carried, in every moment of every day, no matter how bad the situation seems to us.
If our young guests can allow this change of perspective, they will not only be able to better understand their current crisis, but they will also be prepared for future crises in life.
Perhaps they will even then reflexively take a brief look into "victim land" ... but their real course has already been set: Off into life!
